In Not My Closet: How Betrayal Trauma Impacts Self & Body Image, Karen Bieman talks to us about betrayal trauma and the impact this has on the sense of self and body image of straight and non-trans partners in relationships with a closeted lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender person.
Karen is a registered therapeutic counsellor and coach, based in Australia, and working with grief, relationships and betrayal trauma. Karen’s work is informed by her lived experience as the wife of a closeted gay man for 24 years. Finding herself in a mixed-orientation marriage ultimately led to her work as a therapist and the founding of Not My Closet, where she provides counselling, coaching and advocacy for people going through a similar experience.
In Not My Closet: How Betrayal Trauma Impacts Self & Body Image, Karen also talks about:
- What brought Karen to this work
- Karen’s relationship song
- When Karen’s husband told her the truth about being gay
- Why Karen’s life felt like a lie
- Karen’s life work
- Disenfranchised grief
- Why the betrayed partner is often silenced
- Why you should never say ‘at least…’
- Brene Brown Empathy versus sympathy
- What are the types of betrayal trauma relationships?
- Lies, deception and betrayal
- Why the betrayed partner feels confused, used and angry
- Shame, silence and betrayal
- Homophobia and collateral damage
- Conversion therapy and other solutions
- What is intentional monogamy?
- What happens to most couples?
- Mutual respect is the ultimate goal
- Gaslighting and betrayal trauma
- Existential crisis and coming out
- The impact on the children
- The impact of the betrayal on the straight or non-trans partner
- The impact on the straight and non-trans partner’s body image
- Shame and body image
- Using food, disgust as a coping mechanism
- Yo-yo dieting and weight cycling is disordered eating
- Dieting is an attempt to fix something that has never been broken
- Object relations and primary attachment injuries
- Post-traumatic growth – what is the symptom calling for us to awakening to?
- Value, meaning and purpose
- Anger and recovery
- Fierce self-compassion – Kristen Neff
- Self-sabotage versus self-love
- Dating again and trust
- Relational healing, therapy and support groups
- Individual and couples counselling
Connect with Karen online:
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Not My Closet Website
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